What about "I don't know this crap" do you not understand?

I'm a geometry teacher today. Geometry is significantly easier than other math classes like trigonometry or calculus, but that doesn't mean I know how to do it. I'm sure checking your oil is pretty easy, too, but I've never done that. Who am I to lie to these students about a class I don't know anything about? So to be honest and to send a message, I preface the students at the beginning of class, "I teach English; therefore, Math is another language to me...so I can't really help you if you have any questions. You're on your own." Usually when I say this is or statements to this effect, the message I'm saying is, "Look, I really don't care. Leave me the fuck alone for the next 100 minutes so I can Google myself, browse eBay, write e-mails, or do any other mindnumbing activity until the bell rings." Minutes pass. Hands raise. I sigh and feign an interest for some of their concerns:

"No, I don't know how to solve for x here. As far as I know, you need *magic* in order to solve this problem."

"'Name two properties of similar polygons.' Hmm. Well, whatever the answers are, why don't you start them with 'Same _________."

The cherry on top of this shitty sundae is that this teacher has no planning periods today; therefore, I'm teaching non-stop for the rest of the day. If I have to poop, I go in the 5-minute window between classes. If I can't make it, I plan on dropping trow in class and pooping in the shape of two similar polygons to convey my appreciation for Pythagoras, inventor of geometry.