A New Strategy in Assignment Punctuality

A recent e-mail exchange...

"Dear Mr. Substitute,

Please do not show my daughter pictures from your EMT course book.

Sincerely,
Mrs. X"

"Dear Mrs. X,

I'm sorry that your daughter did not enjoy an impromptu health education presentation. Female students who neglect to do their homework on time are subject to pictures of childbirth from my EMT book. Male students who neglect to do their homework are shown pictures of penis avulsions. If these extracurricular learning opportunities disturb your daughter, I would recommend that she complete her homework on time.

All the Best,
Mr. Substitute"