Sophomores are Not Players

I have a group of sophomore boys who pretend to be sexist. I believe that they say disparaging comments in class simply to get a rise out of other students, but they drew the line today when they said an inappropriate and sexually suggestive comment. When I asked the male ringleader, who is desperate for attention and (shocker!) single, if he actually believed the comments he said, he said, "Yeah, Mr. Substitute. Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?"

If there's one thing that I hate more than unsightly people who think they're players, it's sexist, repulsive people who think they're players. I played along with his analogy and replied, "Tom, who are you kidding? Don't you have to get the milk first before you can even apply your theory? I know you're not getting any milk, and no cow is ever going to give you the time of day until you lose the act. Don't reiterate comments like that in my class ever again."