Wednesday, September 13, 2006

A New Strategy in Assignment Punctuality


A recent e-mail exchange...

"Dear Mr. Substitute,

Please do not show my daughter pictures from your EMT course book.

Sincerely,
Mrs. X"

"Dear Mrs. X,

I'm sorry that your daughter did not enjoy an impromptu health education presentation. Female students who neglect to do their homework on time are subject to pictures of childbirth from my EMT book. Male students who neglect to do their homework are shown pictures of penis avulsions. If these extracurricular learning opportunities disturb your daughter, I would recommend that she complete her homework on time.

All the Best,
Mr. Substitute"

Monday, September 11, 2006

The Cha Cha Slide: Helping White People Dance since 2000

On Saturday night, I chaperoned my first high school dance as a teacher. I understand that schools have to cut corners and save money, but a dance's location is clutch. There's nothing less glamorous than dancing in your school's cafeteria. Yes, gym floors can get scratched very easily, but dancing next to a Pepsi vending machine doesn't do it for anyone.

In general, not much has changed since I graced the dance floor not too long ago. Students still bump and grind to old hits and the "song of the moment." In my high school days, Sisqo's "Thong Song" would bring out the inner hussy in the most moral of students. For my students, it's T.I. "What You Know." T.I., I know nothing about that.

More about the dance in the forthcoming book.