Jackpot!

My students gave me bribes - I mean "gifts" - on the last day before holiday vacation. Below are the 3 types of presents parents and guardians give teachers:

1. Any edible dish, preferably anything homemade because it's cheaper (i.e. brownies).
2. Any gift found around the house that's regiftable (i.e. snowglobes).
3. Any cheap gift certificate, purchased minutes before arriving at school (i.e. Panera).

Regardless of the gift, it's nice to know that I'm appreciated, whether it's in the form of a lame 2006 Book of Korean coins or an awesome gift certificate to Whole Foods.

I Steal My Students' Things

Last weekend, I went skiing with some friends. On the Friday before the trip, one of my students accidentally left a winter coat in my classroom. Because I didn't have a coat and I knew I was going skiing in cold weather, I borrowed my student's coat. I skied in the coat all weekend long and had an amazing time. When I returned to school on Monday, I slipped the coat into my lost and found box. The student arrived later that day and asked if I found a coat in the classroom. I nodded my head and pointed towards the box. The student picked up the jacket, examined it, and asked, "Umm...Mr. Substitute, has this jacket been here all weekend?"

I reply, "I think so. I wasn't here all weekend, so unless someone used this classroom over the weekend, it stayed here."

He said, "Well, there's a lift ticket on here for this past weekend for a ski resort in West Virginia. Do you know who borrowed my coat?"

I remembered the one rule a lawyer told me: Deny everything. I stuck to my story and replied, "I have no idea."

The student responded, "That's a shame. Whoever borrowed my coat left $20 in the pocket."